Tips on overcoming perfectionism | 학생상담센터(영문)

Tips on overcoming perfectionism

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Ⅱ. Tips on overcoming perfectionism (对待完美主义的小秘诀)

First, understand yourself. The way to overcome a maladaptive perfectionism can begin with your perception or awareness that you are suffering from perfectionism.

Think about when and why your perfectionism began.
Determine whether it is helpful or problematic to you.
Determine whether it is a rule you've made to do well yourself or a habit you've created to win the recognition from your parents or important others or avoid scolding and criticism from them.

第一，理解自己。

思考完美主义是什么时候,为什么开始的。
判断完美主义是对自己有帮助还是带来了问题。
判断为了做得更好而制定的规定，是为了得到父母或是很重要的他人的认可，还是为了避免指责而形成的习惯。
理解完美主义是为了做得更好并且想要得到认可而选择的行动。

Second. do the rational thinking. The biggest problem of the maladaptive perfectionism is that it makes you commit a cognitive error.

Stay away from the prescriptive, dichotomous, and irrational thoughts. (I have to be perfect; I have to do well; I have to be successful, I have to get the first class in my class, otherwise, there is no meaning; etc.).
Recognize that everybody has different specialty, ability, and preference.
Do not stigmatize yourself as a loser after comparing yourself with better people around you and feeling inferior to them.

第二，合理性思维。

远离“想当然”的，非好即坏的极端性的，不合理的思考方式（一定要做到完美。一定要做好。一定要成功。要不是第一就没有任何意义等。）
抛弃只有完美才能成功，只有完美才能得到自己想要的东西的想法。
要认可每个人都有擅长的，具备的能力，喜欢的东西也都有差异。
不要和周围优秀的人作比较的同时将自己陷入自卑感并给自己盖上失败者的印章。

Third. Learn through your mistakes. Maladaptive perfectionists often miss a chance to learn from mistakes because they tend to think of small mistakes as big failures.

A small mistake does not mean a complete failure.
Do not give up what you are doing to the end even if it is not the best
Learn from mistakes and try to get better outcomes in the next opportunities.

第三，通过失误来学习。

小的失误并不代表完全的失败。
即使不是最好，也不要放弃，坚持到最后。
通过失误来学习，努力在下次机会时得到好的结果。
不是在受害者或是牺牲者的立场，而是在实现并选择自己想要做的事情中体验自身的成长。

Fourth, be faithful to reality. Do not forget that the possibility of your being perfect disappears if you are not faithful to reality.

Try to get better every day
Do not be entangled by perfectionism that can not be achieved, but focus on what you can do and put it into practice

第四，充实现在。

每天努力向更好的方向发展。
不纠缠于实现不了的完美，而是以自己的力量集中在自己能做的事情并付出行动。

Fifth, Have a positive conversation with yourself. You need the ability to see your pros and cons in a balanced way.

Say to yourself, "It's okay".
Even if you do not like it, or even if you've made a mistake, forgive yourself.
Find out how to recognize and love yourself (self-compensation).

第五，积极的自我对话。

对自己说“没关系”。
即使不满意，有失误，也要原谅自己。
学会自己认可自己，自己爱自己（自我补偿）。